| Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself |
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[03 May 2009|04:47pm] |
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oh, you know. just graduating in less than a week.
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| Oh, marriage |
[22 Apr 2009|10:14pm] |
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Today in my American studies class (it’s called ‘Sex and Gender in America’), we discussed the institution of marriage, and its relevance in today’s world, and the issue of same-sex marriage and how sex and gender play roles in marriage. And I found myself getting REALLY upset about the issue. Not even the same-sex marriage issue, because I’m pretty sure at least 90% of my class is for gay marriage so we barely even discussed it. I found myself getting upset about marriage in general. Sigh. Here we go.
I’ve always had a personal issue with marriage. If any of you knew me before I met Donny, I was absolutely determined that I was not going to get married. And I still have those feelings today. Like, to me, I personally define marriage as a legal contract between two people (specifically, in today’s world, between a man and a woman, although I think that’s morally wrong). It’s loveless. LEGALLY, marriage is nothing more than a way to show the government that you’re prepared for the benefits that married people can receive (healthcare benefits, “death benefits,” etc.). I believe that a religious marriage is a completely separate thing. For example, being legally recognized by your church is NOT the same thing as being recognized by the government, and I think most people would agree. And for myself, since I am not religious, I could care less about my marriage being recognized by a church. So to me, the only people who give a shit about my marriage is the government. Because then they know how to deal with me; how to classify me. A marriage is essentially a piece of paper, if we are talking about the MINIMAL definition of marriage. Think about how many absolutely loveless marriages are out there. They’re still called marriages because they have a marriage CONTRACT. I do not want to be part of an institution like that. I mean, society says that marriage is something about love and commitment. That’s not what the government’s saying. And that’s frustrating to me. Like, I don’t need the government to tell me that I’m now married. I feel like personally, I do not need to sign a piece of paper to mark my commitment to someone. I don’t need the government to tell me my relationship is now legitimate in their eyes. That’s almost insulting to me. If Donny and I never married (which honestly, I’d be fine with, except for the fact that we wouldn’t get the same benefits as “legally” married couples, which is beyond annoying), I am absolutely convinced that our marriage would be more about commitment and loyalty and everything that marriage is “supposed” to represent than millions of Americans who have signed the piece of paper, but who absolutely hate each other and are unfaithful and who are just bad boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives in general. It’s not as if the second I say “I do” I’m suddenly going to love Donny more and suddenly be more committed to him. Like, that’s absurd. To me, I’m essentially going to get married because 1) society expects me to and 2) I want the benefits that every other married person is getting. That’s not exactly a romantic reason. And THAT is what bothers me. We pretend like marriage is so romantic, but it’s not. It’s a contract. It can be MORE than a contract, but to me, the very minimal definition of marriage is a contract. Like, I view it as being the absolute bottom of a scale… you can add to a “legal” marriage a RELIGIOUS marriage… and you can add love into your marriage… but really, a marriage is a contract. Hopefully other marriages are MORE than that, but that’s all it really is.
And believe me, I hate that I sound this cynical. I wish I was like “oh my gosh, when I’m married, everything is going to be so different. Donny is going to love and respect and honor me so much more now that we’re married.” But um… false.
We were also talking in class about how marriage legitimizes having sex with your partner and pro-creating which I also think is just a complete bunch of shit. If I want to have a baby, I’m going to have a baby. Suck it.
I ALSO do not want to be part of an institution that is so exclusive and discriminatory. If the two gay guys that live next door can’t get married, but I can, how is that fair? Why would I want to be a part of that? Is my 'love' better than their love? No. So why do I get benefits just because I'm heterosexual? Benefits that they CAN'T receive? It's just completely insulting.
The idea of marriage has changed SO MUCH since the beginning of time. I mean, it used to be a transfer of PROPERTY. The western world has changed it into this romantic ideal of love and flowers and weddings and all this pretty frilly stuff. If we can change the meaning of marriage that much, why can’t we just change it a tiny bit to make it include people of any sex or gender? Marriage has changed SO MUCH. 40 years ago, blacks couldn’t marry whites in all states. MARITAL RAPE WASN’T ILLEGAL IN ALL STATES UNTIL 1993. To me, that’s beyond disgusting, but at least the change was made. Changes are made to the institution of marriage ALL THE TIME so I don’t know why this has to be any different.
Of course, this gets into a larger discussion about keeping the heterosexual norm and continuing to emphasize the family (aka a mom and a dad procreating and raising more heterosexual children), and whether or not that should be a governmental priority. So I will stop there.
Anyway, my main point is that it bothers me that marriage is something that everyone is expected to do, because we’re told in society that it’s about ‘love’ and ‘commitment’… like those are exclusive to marriage. Like, without marriage, you can’t guarantee love and commitment. 1) how many marriages end? A little less than 50%? Okay… so you CANT guarantee love and commitment by getting married. And 2) I’m pretty positive that Donny and I are just as capable, if not more capable, than most married couples out there to remain in love and to remain committed to each other, whether we have signed a contract or not. I just don’t see the NEED to be married… other than the health benefits and whatnot. But that’s not really a great reason to get married to me. It seems kind of dumb. I don’t know. Gah. This bothers me a lot. Because I know that I’m SUPPOSED to want to be like super gung ho about marriage, and I’m’ supposed to want to mark my commitment to Donny with a marriage. I just don’t like being EXPECTED to do it. I mean, I will marry Donny. I’m not saying I’m not going to get married. But I would also be fine with not getting married. If I were able to receive all of the same benefits as married people, and if I knew that we wouldn’t be outcasts in the eyes of society, then I wouldn’t see ANY point to getting married, honestly. Which is so depressing to me. I wish it wasn’t that depressing. :(
Anyway. Sorry if this was a depressing entry. It’s just something that really, really bothered me today so I thought I’d vent :) Ps I still want to get married... soooo... look forward to a wedding at some point? You're all invited?
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[16 Mar 2009|12:57pm] |
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Clearly my 11-item to-do list can wait while I make a journal entry about SB oh-nineeee.
I went to West Palm Beach with Kiley, Jamie, and Monicaaa for spring break! We left Oxford last Saturday morning at approximately 5:30 AM to drive to Dayton to catch an 8 AM flight. Gross. But it was fine, and we got to WPB just fine. True story: we rented a condo from a woman named Joyce. Joyce has a cleaning lady named June. June also lives next door to our condo. June apparently is also employed as Joyce's taxi driver? Because June was assigned to come pick us up from the airport haha. Which was nice. Except the whole time on the way from the airport to the condo, June told us about how sketchy of an area it was, how we shouldn't go certain places, etc. So I'm like, great. I was honestly trying to figure out where else we could stay, because it sounded THAT SHADY. So then we get to the place... and it's secretly fine. Like 5 blocks away turned kind of shady, but we never had a need to go there. Our entire island (Singer Island) is full of old people. So really, no problems there. I don't know why she was trying to terrify us...? So we get there, and Joyce then takes us grocery shopping haha. Because we are too cheap to rent a car. It worked out though, because we only took a taxi once really. Joyce was randomly this really, really wealthy woman. Over the course of the week we found out numerous hilarious things about her. We found out all of these details during our trip to the store with her, AND the night when she invited us over for drinks. No kidding. She had us over for wine, and she had like, cheese and veggies and chips out, too. It was hilarious. Anyway, here is just a sampling: - She was on Hilary Clinton's finance committee
- She has been to a party at Timbaland's house. hahahaha.
- Her daughter overcame blindness and then went on to create a stupid little toy that then earned her $92,000 in scholarship money which only paid for half of her tuition, because, of course, she went to Villanova.
- She just recently spent $600 at Target. 1) How is this even possible? 2) they were all on easter presents for her TWO grandchildren. We saw the $600 worth of stuff, too. It took up like two twin beds. It was ridiculous.
- Her brother sued her for one of her condos
- She senses spirits of dead people. While over for drinks, she told us that an Italian monsignor was present with us. I could not make this up if I tried.
Anyway, so that's Joyce. Besides being a little weird, she was SUPER nice and was treating us like her daughters. She kept saying, "I would want someone to do this for my daughter if she were in a strange place!" She even took us out one night and picked us up. So nice, that Joyce. We also met her Uncle Zimmy, who lived on the OTHER side of us. He was nuts. He's like this 85 year old man... he kept like, just coming right up to our door and would tell us the most random things, like where we should go for pizza. Haha. Oh, Uncle Zimmy.
Our condo was like 100 yards from the beach... it was awesomeeeee. The water was freaking GORGEOUS because the water from the Caribbean comes up as part of the Gulf Stream... so it was like this blue-green color and it was so so so clear!! Ahhh I miss it! We laid out on the beach eeevery dayyy and as a result, I am quite tan :) This was my first time in a long time not getting super burned. Yay!
All in all, it was a super vacay. No more spring breaks in undergrad :( But you know what I AM excited about? The fact that next year, I'll have spring break with like 100 people I know. YAYYY!!!!!! We NEVER have the same spring break as osu or ou... aaaaand so now I can finally get that. yayayayay!!!!
PS everyone should go buy kelly clarkson's new cd because it is simply AMAZING. she is back to her old self :) no more emo kelly with crappy music. ps let me know ify ou want to accompany me to the kelly clarkson concert this summer, kthx.
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[23 Jan 2009|06:11pm] |
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I had a pretty awesome day. First, I mean, Fridays are great because I have one 50-minute class at 9, I work from 10-12, and then I'm done! So Jamie and i went to Qdoba for lunch (YUM). Then I came home, worked on some Senior Legacy Campaign stuff with Jamie, and then checked my email... and found out I was accepted to Miami's masters of accounting (MACC) program!!! And THENNN like two hours later, I checked my email and found out that... I GOT INTO OSU'S MACC program!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't really think you understand how much I wanted to go to OSU haha. I had pretty much decided sometime earlier this month that even if I got into Miami but DIDNT get in to OSU, I STILL wouldn't go to Miami haha. So I've been pretty dead set on OSU for a while now, and it finally happened :) :)
Basically this is great news. I'm going. For sure. The only question now is where I'm living... if I get enough financial aid, I'll live in an apartment on campus (or nearby). If I don't, I'll live at home and just commute. Obviously I'd rather live on my own, but I'm also paying my own way through grad school, and I'd rather not have $25,000 in student loans PLUS rent. But yeah... too bad I don't find out about financial aid until March. That makes finding a good apartment rather difficult. Too bad.
Anyway, yeah this is totally a self-centered journal entry. Meh. I deserve it today :) Getting accepted into the two grad programs I applied for in the SAME day haha. Nice. So I'm headed out to happy hour in a bit, then possibly bar hopping or going bowling. Either way, I'm determined to have a fun night :)
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| Last day of MKT 431 |
[19 Nov 2008|10:04am] |
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Last year, back when I was still a supply chain management minor haha, I took MKT 431 - Logistics Management or something like that. My professor was one of the most highly-regarded professors in the entire business school. He was famous for his last lecture of every semester. He didn't talk about anything related to logistics... he just gave the same lecture every semester on life lessons he's learned. It's so good that past students and other professors come in during our class just to hear it. I was lucky enough to be in his last class before he retired. I took notes on everything he said. I just found it again today so I thought I would share it with you. His powerpoint was literally one slide long, with a list of words. And he talked about each word, and what life lesson came with it. So... that's what this list is.
( Life Lessons )
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[10 Nov 2008|09:51pm] |
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I could not imagine this being said any better. So I'll leave it to Keith Olbermann from MSNBC:
Finally tonight as promised, a Special Comment on the passage, last week, of Proposition Eight in California, which rescinded the right of same-sex couples to marry, and tilted the balance on this issue, from coast to coast. Some parameters, as preface. This isn't about yelling, and this isn't about politics, and this isn't really just about Prop-8. And I don't have a personal investment in this: I'm not gay, I had to strain to think of one member of even my very extended family who is, I have no personal stories of close friends or colleagues fighting the prejudice that still pervades their lives. And yet to me this vote is horrible. Horrible. Because this isn't about yelling, and this isn't about politics. This is about the... human heart, and if that sounds corny, so be it. If you voted for this Proposition or support those who did or the sentiment they expressed, I have some questions, because, truly, I do not... understand. Why does this matter to you? What is it to you? In a time of impermanence and fly-by-night relationships, these people over here want the same chance at permanence and happiness that is your option. They don't want to deny you yours. They don't want to take anything away from you. They want what you want -- a chance to be a little less alone in the world. Only now you are saying to them -- no. You can't have it on these terms. Maybe something similar. If they behave. If they don't cause too much trouble. You'll even give them all the same legal rights -- even as you're taking away the legal right, which they already had. A world around them, still anchored in love and marriage, and you are saying, no, you can't marry. What if somebody passed a law that said you couldn't marry? I keep hearing this term "re-defining" marriage. If this country hadn't re-defined marriage, black people still couldn't marry white people. Sixteen states had laws on the books which made that illegal... in 1967. 1967. The parents of the President-Elect of the United States couldn't have married in nearly one third of the states of the country their son grew up to lead. But it's worse than that. If this country had not "re-defined" marriage, some black people still couldn't marry other black people. It is one of the most overlooked and cruelest parts of our sad story of slavery. Marriages were not legally recognized if the people were slaves. Since slaves were property, they could not legally be husband and wife, nor mother and child. Their marriage vows were different: not "Until Death, Do You Part," but "Until Death or Distance, Do You Part." Marriages among slaves were not legally recognized. You know, just like marriages today in California are not legally recognized, if the people are gay. And uncountable in our history are the number of men and women, forced by society into marrying the opposite sex, in sham marriages, or marriages of convenience, or just marriages of not knowing -- centuries of men and women who have lived their lives in shame and unhappiness, and who have, through a lie to themselves or others, broken countless other lives, of spouses and children... All because we said a man couldn't marry another man, or a woman couldn't marry another woman. The sanctity of marriage. How many marriages like that have there been and how on earth do they increase the "sanctity" of marriage rather than render the term, meaningless? What is this, to you? Nobody is asking you to embrace their expression of love. But don't you, as human beings, have to embrace that love? The world is barren enough. It is stacked against love, and against hope, and against those very few and precious emotions that enable us to go forward. Your marriage only stands a 50-50 chance of lasting, no matter how much you feel and how hard you work. And here are people overjoyed at the prospect of just that chance, and that work, just for the hope of having that feeling. With so much hate in the world, with so much meaningless division, and people pitted against people for no good reason, this is what your religion tells you to do? With your experience of life and this world and all its sadnesses, this is what your conscience tells you to do? With your knowledge that life, with endless vigor, seems to tilt the playing field on which we all live, in favor of unhappiness and hate... this is what your heart tells you to do? You want to sanctify marriage? You want to honor your God and the universal love you believe he represents? Then spread happiness -- this tiny, symbolic, semantical grain of happiness -- share it with all those who seek it. Quote me anything from your religious leader or book of choice telling you to stand against this. And then tell me how you can believe both that statement and another statement, another one which reads only "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." --- You are asked now, by your country, and perhaps by your creator, to stand on one side or another. You are asked now to stand, not on a question of politics, not on a question of religion, not on a question of gay or straight. You are asked now to stand, on a question of...love. All you need do is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate. You don't have to help it, you don't have it applaud it, you don't have to fight for it. Just don't put it out. Just don't extinguish it. Because while it may at first look like that love is between two people you don't know and you don't understand and maybe you don't even want to know...It is, in fact, the ember of your love, for your fellow **person... Just because this is the only world we have. And the other guy counts, too. This is the second time in ten days I find myself concluding by turning to, of all things, the closing plea for mercy by Clarence Darrow in a murder trial. But what he said, fits what is really at the heart of this: "I was reading last night of the aspiration of the old Persian poet, Omar-Khayyam," he told the judge. "It appealed to me as the highest that I can vision. I wish it was in my heart, and I wish it was in the hearts of all: "So I be written in the Book of Love; "I do not care about that Book above. "Erase my name, or write it as you will, "So I be written in the Book of Love." --- Good night, and good luck.
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| i could not make this up. |
[16 Sep 2008|12:33am] |
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true story: miami students rioted today outside our president's house. it was AMAZINGGGGGGG. so basically from 9:30 - 11:30 we were part of this HUUUGE group of miami students that were protesting the school's decision to continue on with holding class tomorrow, aka tuesday.
its basically the dumbest thing of all time. like... it's really not going to change anything by standing outside the president's house, screaming and yelling haha.
regardless, it was SO MUCH FUN. literally hundreds of students were just crowded around outside his house. he wasn't home... apparently he had like, already fled to columbus? i dunno haha. anyway, there was just a massive crowd that had formed around these 2 poor police cars hahaha. chants started flying... they ranged from the "oleeee ole ole oleeeee" song to my personal favorite, which had one half of the crowed screaming 'NO POWER!' and the other side answering with 'NO CLASS!'... oh, another good one was 'NO POWER, HOW CAN WE STUDY?' or something like that. i also saw a sign that said 'study or survive?' hahahahah omg. someone also had a sign that said 'we have rights' which made ABSOLUTELY no sense but was hilarious nonetheless. someone also brought a pirate flag?
it got a little rowdy... probably at least 6 people got arrested. i mean, we left before it was over, too, so i'm sure more shenanigans went down. people had started to throw like, walnuts at the police cars... people were trying to throw large branches that had fallen from the wind storm... crazy.
so basically the main erason they were there is because like... 95% of oxford does not have power. somehow my building does. but most of the students and professors have no power. miami is still running on back-up generators. we will not have air conditioning in class tomorrow. we don't know if the dining halls will be open. it is kidn of dumb to have class, especially since like, the local schools are closed... meaning... the professors kids will all be at home... meaning... what if they dont have a babysitter... yeah, just all around bad news. i do have a quiz tomorrow so i have to show up. but i know a lot of profs will probably cancel class anyway.
so yeah news crews were there... or are still on there way there. i have no clue if its still going on or not... meh. when we left, there were at least 36 cop cars there. on our way back we passed a few more on their way there. they had the county sheriffs called in... basically we're a big deal.
greatest night of senior year thus far. and it's gonna be pretty hard to top.
( here's a 'breaking news' article that miami's student paper just put out )
more fantastic articles:
http://news.cincinnati.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080915/NEWS01/309150080
http://www.wcpo.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=e2e58cb4-00fa-4e0a-8606-e448c884c164
we even made the cleveland news! YAY!
http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2008/09/miami_university_students_prot.html
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[15 Sep 2008|01:12pm] |
no school today :)
PLUS we somehow have power. even though like, 95% of oxford doesn't. like... i live in an apartment complex that has nine buildings. 6 of the buildings still don't have power. my building somehow does.
muah ha ha.
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| Oh, the life of an intern. |
[03 Aug 2008|11:06pm] |
This really happened. Like, 2 days ago.
picture it. All of the interns are sitting in a conference room one morning, discussing our upcoming presentation. We're emailing the powerpoint back and forth with additions and whatnot. One girl sends a file solely of videos and pictures. All of a sudden, the conference room door cracks open and a guy sticks his head in.
Guy: Um... is there an Amy Armstrong?
Ashley: I'm Ashley Armstrong... what's up?!
Guy: Okay... I'm going to need to you disconnect from the internet immediately.
Ashley (very flustered): Okayyyy...
Guy: Also. Is there a Jen... Tisza?
Jen: Yes...
Guy: I also need you to disconnect immediately.
[awkward silence]
Guy: I think you guys made the entire network crash.
[all interns stare at each other, horrified.]
Guy: It's not a big deal. No one outside of this room has to know. Like I said, it's not a big deal. We just had to cancel training for all of the partners that had to fly out to Columbus today. Not a big deal though.
[all of the interns continue to stare at each other because UMMM THATS KIND OF A BIG DEAL.]
us: Ohhh my gosh we are sooo sorry...
Guy: It's not a big deal. But no one can get on the internet. So we just need to get you guys off so we can get it back up and running.
[we're all staring at each other still... because clearly, it is a BIG DEAL if no one can get on the internet and check email, etc.]
us: we're sorryyyyy...
Guy: Don't even worry about it. The office managing partner (aka the TOP TOP TOP person in Columbus in our office) just can't access his email. So he's getting pretty behind in his day. Since it's been down for like over an hour. But seriously, it's not a big deal.
OMG. SO ANNOYING. We CLEARLY screwed up. JUST TELL US THAT. Stop saying all the horrible things we caused... and just either tell us that 1) it's not a big deal or 2) it IS a big deal. IT CANT BE BOTH. ahhhhhh.
anyway. so yeah. i think i might have just caused that to happen again. oops?
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| ooo, the summer. |
[15 Jul 2008|06:31pm] |
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I figured it's probably time to update this thing.
So. It's summer. More than half over for me, unfortunately. Yay semesters. Anyway, let's review.
For the first 3-ish weeks of summer, I sat on my ass and did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And it was fantastic. I did not mind it one bit.
In other news, Donny has been in China for what seems like a million years. It's been kind of hard, but I'm glad I've had work to distract me. I've only got another week to wait, so PLEASE call me to hang out until July 23!!! Seriously!
Umm... what else is new. Nothing, really. I spent the weekend at Miami by myself packing up our apartment... it was so relaxing to just be by myself in our huge apartment and not have to worry about doing anything. Pluuuuuuuuuuus there were TWO Law and Order marathons back to back... criminal intent AND SVU. it was great. :)
speaking of SVU... i'm so officially really obsessed. like... aaaaaalmost to the point i'm obsessed with designing women. for those of you who know that about me... um... that's kind of a big deal. and i just bought seasons 1-3 on dvd... i'm saving up for the next 4 haha. oh but i'm sure i'll have purchased them by the end of the summer. i'm really really impatient sometimes... oops?
other random things: I really cannot wait to see mamma mia. i am sick of my family eating at 7:30 every.single.day. my dad got promoted to controller for bath and body works... holla! i also love watching america's got talent. i rearranged my bedroom for the first time since we built the house in 2001. i love having some money so that i can make stupid purchases (i.e. a GPS system and obviously the law and order dvds). aaaaaand thats about it.
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[02 Jun 2008|10:30am] |
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Well, well. I hate how I go through like, random month-long periods where I don't write in this haha. My bad.
I start my internship with Ernst & Young tomorrow. It's random to start on a Tuesday, yeah? Whatever. I'll be working until August 11th... yes, my internship ends on a Monday. That's probably the dumbest thing I've ever heard haha. Anyway. I'll be in the downtown Columbus office tomorrow, and they're letting us off early to start the drive to Cleveland (haha how thoughtful of them). Then I'll be in Cleveland until Friday night, participating in the Firmwide Orientation which is basically just orientation for ALL Ernst & Young interns in Ohio, basically. There are offices in Columbus, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Toledo, possibly Akron, and maybe a few others. Anyway, so we'll be with all of them. Then I come back Friday night, and I leave for Cleveland AGAIN on Sunday night :( Boooooo. And I'll be there ALL week... once again leaving Friday night. That week is for my particular field's training. So as a public accountant, you can either go 1 of 2 routes... either auditing or tax. Clearly I did not choose tax because I would be insane to do so. So I'm auditing. So all of next week in Cleveland is my auditing training. Yay? Then I'll spend until August 11th going around to different clients and helping the full-time E&Y people do audits on them. Basically it's a little more exciting than it sounds, but not much haha. Oh well. I like numbers. It'll be fine.
I'm pretty much just excited to get all my like, new-hire things haha. Aka a laptop (even though I already have my own), a company credit card (yes, they give interns credit cards. Weird? Yes.), and everything else.
I'm a little worried about the social aspect of this internship. First, I will be working in Columbus with 6 other interns. 2 of them are girls from the University of Dayton. the other FOUR are guys from Miami. So I'm the awkward one thats like... not really in either group? I'm a girl, but I'm not from UD, and they probably know each other already anyway. I'm from Miami but I'm clearly not going to fit in with the guys either. Yay for being the odd one out!!!
The other social aspect I'm worried about is drinking. I'm not 21 yet (vom?), but it's common knowledge that Big 4 internships include lots and lots of happy hours. A lot. And what if, during that week in Cleveland, my other fellow interns want to go out? I'll have to be like "um... have fun guys... I'm not 21." And I'll miss all the intern-bonding that will happen. And even if they don't go out, what happens when the managers or senior accountants take us out to happy hour? Do I look like a total loser and say, "Sorry, I'm not 21." Or do I just take the drink and not make a big deal out of it, because they probably won't care that much? But then what if they, for some reason, DO care a lot? THESE ARE THE THINGS I DEAL WITH ALL THE TIME FOR BEING A YEAR YOUNGER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. UGHHH. I think I've decided that if they just buy a drink for me, I'll drink it. If they ASK me what I want to drink, I'll probably just get a Coke. How embarrassing.
I just got an email from this woman Michelle, and I am so excited. When I went to the office for my day-long office visit/interview in the fall, she was the one that led me around and had breakfast with me and basically was super super nice. And so she just sent me an email saying that she's been paired up with me to be my peer mentor during my whole internship. This is such great news. She was so easy to talk to, so I'm sure I can ask her really really awkward questions like about drinking haha. Except she wants me to call her like, today just to talk before I start tomorrow? Even more awkward. I don't know what to say to her haha. Blahhhhhh just feeling awkward all the time.
I'm not ready to start waking up at 6 AM either. FYI.
I just am having a hard time grasping that I am about to start doing what I want to do with my life, you know? Like... this is what I'm going to school for. And now I'm going to be doing it. Instead of like, working at the call center. And as long as I don't majorly screw anything up, I'll end the summer with a full-time job lined up for after grad school. That's kiiiiind of a big deal. I'm just nervous that I'm not ready for things this big yet lol. Like Katie just said in her last entry, I've always felt like I was a couple of years behind. Meaning... I'm not one of those people that's like YEAH I CANT WAIT TO MOVE OUT TO L.A. AND START A CRAZY NEW LIFE!!!!! ... yeah, false, that is NOT me. I mean, I completely admire those who can do that. I'm just a homebody haha. Change sucks. Whatever.
So um... basically I'll be MIA all summer since I'll get home at like, 6-7 PM and have to go to bed at 10 PM to get up at 6 AM again. YAY... not. So you all have to hang out with me on the weekends. Kthx.
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[01 Nov 2007|11:33am] |
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i decided my last entry was really angry/emo and i'm not okay with that. so i thought i'd make a new one.
ummm let's see. i have an exam in like 2 hours that i haven't really studied for. and it's business law, which means its guaranteed to suck. oh well.
i had two exams yesterday... accounting information systems (dumbest class ever) and supply chain. someone PLEASE tell me why supply chain is my minor. it is the worst class EVER. it's SO HARD. ah. no one told me it was ALL STATS. sick. pretty sure i thought i was done with stats last year.
oh, and tutoring is now the worst job ever. it's so inconsistent, and it's HARD work. i don't know how to teach people. hence why i'm an accounting major. so i'm probably going to quit at the end of the semester. yay.
in other news, everything else in my life is wonderful :) the bf and i are goooood, but i mean, there's no way around it, long-distance is still a bitch. i'm coming to OU this weekend, which is basically the one thing i've been looking forward to all month haha.
next week i have TWO office visits to Big 4 firms. it's basically going to be the last step before they decide whether or not they'll offer me a summer internship. eek. the worst part is that i have to miss class on monday AND friday... and if you don't know anything about miami, we either have a class MWF or TR. soo... i'm missing my 2 MWF classes TWICE next week. gross.
speaking of classes, we scheduled recently. these are my classes for spring semester:
-logistics management
-enterprise systems
-intermediate cost accounting
-federal income tax accounting
-intro to finance
-women in pre-industrial europe
now everyone leave me comments about YOUR new classes and how they sound way cooler than mine. because i mean, lets face it, they have to sound cooler than mine.
i love living in an apartment. especially since its with kiley and jamie :) i love those girls. i would pretty much be so sad if i didn't have them to come home to every day.
we carved pumpkins this weekend!! mine's so cute. but my camera's at home so i can't take a picture of it. and now it's probably going to rot. boo.
ummm i sort of have to go to class. kbye.
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[17 Sep 2007|12:33pm] |
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Dear Richard T. Farmer School of Business at Miami University, Oxford, Ohio:
GET. OFF. MY. FUCKING. BACK.
Love, Britney
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Okay. Here's the deal. Miami's business school, specifically their accounting program, is awesome. The undergrad accounting program is ranked like 9th in the country for public schools. So yay, I'm a part of it. That's great. It really is. HOWEVER. The amount of bribery that goes on between the FSB (Farmer School of Business) and the Big 4 firms is unbelievable.
Okay more background for those non-accounting/business majors: there are 4 ultra-huge accounting firms in the country. They basically provide audit services to mostly large companies. For example, LimitedBrands is audited by Ernst & Young, I believe, meaning that Ernst & Young reviews the financial statements that the Limited prepares, as well as their internal controls to make sure everything is meeting the SEC's requirements to be a publicly traded company. They also provide risk services, IT audit, tax services... basically anything an accountant can do, they provide those services to other companies.
So. The Big 4 is definitely the place that a lot of accounting majors want to at least START their careers. Once you work in auditing at a Big 4 firm for even just 2 years, you are pretty much guaranteed a job anywhere. The really nice thing about accounting is that the career opportunities are endless. Everyone needs accountants, whether it's Microsoft, Toyota, LimitedBrands, the mom and pop shop down the street, or your next door neighbor who needs someone to do her taxes. I know that I will have a job when I leave school. That kind of reassurance is really nice. And everyone LOVES to see that you have auditing experience with the Big 4 just because you work with HUGE clients, you gain TONS of experience, and you really learn the ins and outs of accounting super fast. So most accounting majors aim to at least start off with a Big 4 firm. I am one of those people. I DESPISE the thought of working for one forever, but I really want to start off there to see if I even like auditing. If I don't, I can switch to tax, or I can leave the crazy atmosphere of a Big 4 firm and go somewhere smaller, like a regional CPA firm.
But. MY problem with the FSB is that they receive SO much money from the Big 4 firms that they work their asses off to promote them. Um, like, please tell me why one wing on one floor of our business building is called like the Pricewaterhouse Coopers section? Seriously? And I spend 3 hours of my week in class in the "Deloitte & Touche lecture room". VOMIT. Anyway, since the business school promotes them SO MUCH... they basically ignore all other career avenues for accounting majors. For the longest time, I truly truly truly forgot that I could work somewhere else. Like, I'm not exaggerating. For about a few months straight I was stressing out about interviewing with the Big 4 before I realized that I don't HAVE to. It's like... that's the ONLY career opportunity the school tells you about. I mean, we have Career Fair here at Miami which is basically for business students.. the Big 4 will be there, PLUS a ton of other smaller accounting firms and also a lot of corporations that need internal auditors, etc. But Miami barely ever tells you about them. And then on top of THAT its like I have to remember that there ARE, in fact, other businesses outside of the career fair that will hire me. For example, LimitedBrands won't be at the Career Fair. But that doesn't mean I can't get a job with them, you know? But Miami just shoves this stuff down your throat so much that you completely forget that other opportunities exist. I just really don't agree with the way that Miami advertises so heavily for the Big 4. It's really intimidating to someone who isn't completely sure that's what they want to do. And Miami doesn't even present it as "Oh, well, the Big 4 is the best place to work, I guess you could work somewhere else, though..." No. It's like "Get a job at a Big 4 firm or else be poor for the rest of your life." Ugh.
And then at an accounting advising meeting a few weeks ago, they had, surprise surprise, people from each of the Big 4 there to talk to us. Like, how come no one else is allowed to come and talk to us? Anyway, they all said to us, "If you're going to be in school an extra year to complete the MAcc (Masters of Accountancy) program, DO NOT get an internship with the Big 4 between your junior and senior years. Wait until after your senior year." I mean... that's fine and all... but it SORT OF MESSED UP MY ENTIRE LIFE PLAN. So now I'm like running around trying to find a corporate internship that I can do this summer before going on to a Big 4 internship the summer after I graduate from undergrad, hopefully.
It also just amazes me how like... I TRULY (I'm not exaggerating at ALL) have to know where I will be and what I will be doing in August of 2010. Like... what? I seriously have to know that stuff in order to get an internship. They ask you questions about when you'll be CPA eligible, blah blah blah. Like... WHAT IF I DONT KNOW?! Why do I effing have to know what I'm doing in 3 years?! And then there's Jamie and Kiley like... not having to worry about this stuff yet. Which is AWESOME; I'm just so jealous.
And then the business school tells you that even if you're not looking for an internship this summer, you should still be meeting the Big 4 recruiters and getting your name and face known. Ummm, excuse me? I'm supposed to be going out of my way to talk to people that I won't be interning for until June of 2009? Seriously? UGHHHH.
And on top of THAAAAAAAAT, they keep reminding us that Miami is SO WELL KNOWN and has SUCH A GREAT REPUTATION blah blah blah. It's like... THANK YOU I KNOW. I have ENOUGH STUFF on my mind right now; I don't need the added pressure. Miami is one of like, six campuses or something across the country that the Big 4 actively recruits on. Meaning... at most schools, this crap doesn't happen. At normal schools, you might see the Big 4 at Career fair and that's about it. No. Not at Miami. At Miami, we are positively DELUGED with Big 4 events. At LEAST twice a year, they set up tents outside our business school. In EVERY business organization, you meet at least once or twice with people from each firm. They are effing ALWAYS HERE. You just can't get away. In fact, the Big 4 has signed an agreement that as long as a Miami accounting student has a GPA of 3.0, they are REQUIRED to interview that student for a job/internship. Like... WHAAAAT?! THAT is how highly they regard our accounting program. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am PUMPED that I get that sort of special treatment. At most schools, you'd be lucky to be called back to interview with them because working at a Big 4 is such a highly-demanded job. But we get that just HANDED to us because they THINK we're so amazing. SO MUCH PRESSURE. I mean, I think I'm pretty smart, but like... I don't think I deserve that kind of treatment, you know? And I don't WANT people to have that high of an expectation of me lol because the higher the expectation, the more likely I am to fail. Vommmm.
Basically my life is nuts right now.
I mean, I'll probably die before the end of the week. but hopefully not because YAY IM COMING TO OU ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! basically it's the only thing that is getting me through this week. i mean, i'm really glad my entire future rests on the outcome of wednesday's career fair. really.glad.
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[14 Aug 2007|12:49am] |
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Our Battles- Maria Mena |
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Remember back in the day when I actually wrote in this thing? ... yeah, me too.
I'm so burned. Burnt? Whatever. I'm red all over.
I'm going back to school in 5 days. Ughhh. I'm SO excited to be getting an apartment but unfortunately, school also comes along with the whole 'moving into an apartment' thing. I got my intermediate financial accounting book in the mail today... good thing it's 1400 pages... I almost cried. I'm not lying. The study guide that I also bought for it is 400 pages. Seriously.
Why do I get so emo all the time lately? I just feel like the peak in my life (as far as having a huge group of amazing friends, etc.) has passed. That's really really depressing. I know that I still have AMAZING friends and I have an amazing boyfriend but I feel like high school was such a carefree time. I know I'm being cliche, whatevs. It's true. Remember how we used to be able to spend every single night together without having to worry about jobs? I mean, full-time jobs. We may have had to work from like, 12-5 but that was it lol. Oh, those good ol' lazy days of summer.
By the way, this may be a completely random comment, but if anyone even thinks about hurting my best friends in any way, you may or may not get the shit kicked out of you by me. Kthx.
My mind is going all over the place. Sorry for the confusion.
I miss London so much :( 2 of the awesome people Kiley and I met while studying there came to visit last week. Chris (from Arkansas) and Tricia (from South Carolina)... they're such hilarious and genuinely nice people. Yay for that. Anyway, I really really miss London. I miss the awesome compatibility of the unbelievable history and the modern people. I miss how everyone there is so much more mature, especially about things like drinking. I miss the Tube... especially "This is the Piccadilly line with services to Cockfosters." and "Please mind the gap between the train and the platform." I REALLY miss Primark, aka the greatest store ever. I miss Jakobs, the place down Gloucester Road where i got chicken and mozzerella paninis :) Mmm. I miss pretending we lived across the street from Dustin Hoffman (even though he really did live nearby). I miss passing the afternoons in Kensington Gardens/Hyde Park... who even gets to say that they just get to hang out in Hyde Park every day? I realllllllllly miss British accents. Sigh. I want to go backkkk.
Please go download every single Maria Mena song you can find. She's this Norwegian singer and... she's just great. I love her. Her lyrics are really really great.
I find myself always expecting too much. I have to remember that I can't change people and I can't be mad at them for being who they are... even if it's not who I want them to be.
Donny's 21st birthday is soon. I want to be with him but like... I'll be in school. And is there a point to coming home, since I can't go out with him? Like, should I really drive 2.5 hours to be like 'Hi... Happy Birthday... okay, have fun and be safe..."? I want him to enjoy his 21st birthday, you know? But I also want to be with him. Ugh I am so terrible at making decisions.
I've decided that I'm going to be losing 15 pounds this year. Just... FYI. You can yell at me if you've noticed me getting chubbier.
I am officially the most ADD person in this entry ever. Sorry about that. Seriously.
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[14 May 2007|12:55am] |
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I kind of leave for London in 3 days.
I kind of REALLY CANT WAIT!!!!
Things I will miss:
- the Grey's finale :(
- the Office finale :(:(
- my family
- everyone coming home from school
I'm pretty sure I'll be able to handle it, though.
I'm watching a History Channel special on hippies. It's pretty interesting.
Speaking of the History Channel, do NOT join the damn History Channel Club. It freaking sucks. First of all, you're supposed to get a magazine every 2 months. I received my first magazine 7 months after signing up. Yeahhhh. Issue #1. Then the rest of it is basically a giant scam and they send you a million things (magnets, pins, DVDs, etc) and don't make it clear that you have to send it back yourself if you don't want it... otherwise, you get charged. Yeah. LAME. And their customer service people are NOT personable, to say the least. Ugh. You would think that with an organization like the freaking HISTORY CHANNEL, you could get some nice workers and some non-shady executives to say, "Hey, maybe as a service to our members, we shouldn't send them shit they don't want."
That's my rant for the day. It's probably a sign of my ultimate dorkiness that it's about the History Channel Club. You'll have that, though.
I have to go back to the dreaded call center tomorrow to see about getting a job when I come back from London. I'm totally taking my standing there for granted by assuming that they'll welcome me back with open arms. If they don't, I'm completely screwed and have nowhere else to work. YAY.
If anyone knows of a job OTHER than the damn Delia's call center... that makes more than, say, minimum wage... please let me know? :(
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[17 Apr 2007|12:19am] |
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Basically I'm a complete mess after the terrible horrible sad horrific disgusting shootings that took place at Virginia Tech this morning. My immediate thoughts are always on the families and friends of those killed and injured today. I can't help but tear up every time I think about how they must be feeling. And I can't help but wonder what type of pain the gunman must have been experiencing to do something like this.
It's cliche, I know, but events like this make me wonder "what if" more than I'd like to admit. All day long, I've pretty much been consumed by these thoughts. What if this happened at Miami? The VT students all said their campus was like so peaceful... I definitely consider Miami's campus peaceful. What if it happened in Hughes or Pearson? They're two of the science buildings... so many of my friends are pre-med and spend their time in those buildings. What if it was Upham or Laws? I could have been in there. How would I have reacted? If I had mercifully not been shot immediately, would I have had the common sense to drop to the floor, pretending like I had been shot like one girl did? What if it were one of my friends? How would I even cope with something like that?
And I of course think "What if this was at OU?" Or OSU? Or any place that is home to someone I love? How would I cope with not knowing what's going on? How would I feel if someone I knew was killed there? How would I feel if someone I knew survived?
I feel disgusted, almost, at the way some people are continuing on with their lives with nothing more than a "Oh, that's sad... another school shooting." Yes, unfortunately, this is "another school shooting." That doesn't mean we can pass over it and file it away in the history books or something and move on with our lives so easily. I just hate feeling like I'm in the minority because I'm genuinely and visibly upset about the impact this had on so many hundreds and thousands of lives.
:( This will not be forgotten.
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thebritstinator's journal
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